carbs and cupcakes

i'm now on week two of my transition. my weigh in this week was the same. current weight 135 pound-to-go 0
this week, i can have three things of my choice. the woman in the office before me is also transitioning and was so conservative with her choices: ice cream (dr allowed 1cup), pizza (dr allowed 1slice) and an alcoholic beverage (only 1). meanwhile, my thoughts were racing at the possibility of eating "real" food. i discussed eating corn (dr allowed 1ear), beans (dr allowed 7ounces or less) and bread (dr allowed 2slices). however, i will now, unapologetically, eat this cupcake* instead!

 

*i (HONESTLY) only ate about 1/4. it was delicious but too much! ... probably a good thing, right? 

stuffed portabello mushroom

summertime is all about grillin' and while i would normally look forward to some chicken, burgers or even an ear of corn; i've had to be more creative with my grilled dinners. one night last week we bought some portabello mushroom caps. knowing i'd want something more than that, i had the idea to make a diet friendly, filling dinner by adding some other veggies.

ingredients 

• portabello mushroom caps (package of 2)
• 10-12 ounces of spinach 
• 1 medium sized onion 
• 1 medium sized tomato 

directions 

• heat grill (we have a gas grill); place aluminum foil-wrapped onion on grill 
• while onion is on the grill, prepare mushroom caps, tomatoes and spinach: chop tomato into small pieces and set aside; clean and rinse spinach; wash and clean mushroom caps gently with a paper towel
• then spray pan with PAM and start cooking spinach on low adding salt and pepper to taste; keep warm until mushroom and onion are done on the grill 
• while the spinach is cooking: add mushroom caps directly onto grill; continue grilling mushroom caps and onion for 20minutes or until the mushroom caps stop welling up with water and get some nice char marks. 
• take the onion and mushroom off the grill, carefully remove the onion from the foil. place foil over mushrooms to keep warm. place onion back onto the grill to get some caramelization for a few minutes.
• remove onion from grill; chop onion into small pieces (CAUTION: onion will be very hot!) 
• stuff cooked spinach, grilled onion and raw tomato into mushroom cap 
• serve immediately and ENJOY! 

note: this yields two servings. make it as a meal or serve as a side dish! 

this was by far one of my favorite dinners since starting my diet. i've fallen into the habit of eating guacamole and plantain chips almost every fruit/veggie day so i was happy to mix it up. this is really the perfect summer dish! it's filling and earthy. it was also super easy to make and a great vegetarian friendly way to use the grill! 

140

140 140 140 140 140. 

i weighed in and reached my unofficial goal weight yesterday! i celebrated by eating diner food and ice cream. counterproductive? perhaps.

despite reaching my first goal weight, i asked the doc if i could stay on for another week or until i reached 135. he said he couldn't argue with me wanting to get down to 135 ... i asked if he would argue with 130. he said, "get to 135 first then we'll talk." so, i've decided to stay on the diet program for one more week before i start transitioning. whether i get to 135 or not i think one more week will be enough. i'll be able to start introducing a workout regime when i transition so i might end up losing weight regardless.

GO ME!

current weight: 140 pounds-to-go: 5

second month slump

current weight: 145 pounds-to-go: 10 (5 from original goal) 

i weighed in yesterday and sadly only lost 3 pounds. i attribute this lack of loss to a number of things. namely, this is one of the first times i've actually weighed in exactly ONE week after my previous weigh-in. also. my period. I'M NOT MAKING EXCUSES - IT'S TRUE! Both the doc and his (female) assistant agreed i would have been down at least an additional 3 pounds if i wasn't bloated. thank you, mother nature. h8 you.

i also tried to get the doc's opinion on my new goal weight. when i first started he had said i should get down to 140; i agreed. it's only as of late i've made the decision to stay on the diet until i reach 135. he said, "we'll discuss it when i reach 140" to which i replied, "HOPEFULLY, that will be next week." he responded with what can only be described as the most unenthusiastic high-five ever. 

this second-month slump is really getting to me. not just this weigh-in. overall ... it's getting harder to avoid meeting up with friends because i can't "get drinks" or "grab dinner," i've totally isolated myself lately. as much as this diet is supposed to teach me how to "live with food" i've never felt more controlled by my diet. i have to rush home from work on my fruit/veggies days to ensure i eat on time. i have to schedule my days so i have time to grocery shop every other day. i've also developed an unhealthy relationship with the scale. not sure if that's better or worse than our previous relationship status which was: nonexistent. i hope i don't develop some weird obsessive compulsiveness or eating disorder from this.

MIA

i can't believe i've been so MIA –  i really thought i'd be blogging about all my dietary foodventures. but let's be real. it's easier to complain out-loud to my fiance and friends than in type and i don't see the point in posting pictures of plantain chips and glasses of milk.

anyway. my weigh-in schedule has really veered off course. but hopefully from here on out i will stick to WEEKLY weigh-ins. although going every eight to ten(ish) days seems to work out better in my mind ... and saves moneyy.

in other news. my mom came with me yesterday. i have to admit it's been really difficult dieting in my home environment. i live amongst polar opposites –  my sister who is extremely disciplined and sticks to a calorie restricted diet and then treats herself weekly and my mother who, admittedly has poor eating habits.

i've never wanted to place blame on anyone for my eating habits or my weight. i grew up under pretty interesting circumstances. my dad loved his juicer. we would wake up weekend mornings to the sounds of the blades grinding up fresh and delicious fruit juices. he also tried to get us to drink soy and goat's milk rather than cow's milk. even now that man will steam anything. like. even chicken. that's not to say he like, didn't EVER eat fast food or candy. he did. we just grew up in house that was half organic half convenience aka frozen dinners/take out. and at the grocery store it was never a question of "can we have ice cream?" it was more like "what kind do you want?" growing up, both of my parents were thin so i suppose i never saw a reason to not eat junk food. i, on the other hand, was always overweight (overweight never "obese"). and seeing my twin sister eat the same things i did and be half the size was always, in some subconscious way, upsetting. but honestly, i never lacked confidence. i never "struggled" with my weight despite knowing i could lose a few lbs. i was active, had friends (/boyfriends) and genuinely loved myself for who i was – inside and out.

it wasn't until recently i became aware and thus unhappy with my body. not so coincidentally, it was when i moved back home. being around two people who have such incredibly conflicting food/health ideologies was overwhelming. it was only then i could actually admit to myself i was making excuses. that i knew i wanted to lose weight but was being lazy. and though i don't necessarily wholeheartedly agree with my sister's food philosophy, i most certainly did not agree with my mom's. and so, a little more than a month into me dieting via accuweight loss, my mom decided to come with me. i'm proud of her for realizing it's time for a lifestyle change. especially since her blood pressure is high and she's at risk for developing diabetes. she NEEDS to do this NOW. and hopefully she will be successful!



current weight: 148 pounds-to-go: 13 (8 for original goal)

one month update

so today marks one month of this ridiculousness. i really thought i would have made it a month without cheating but i didn't. however,  i did make it more than a week which is better than the last time i tried! oh. i don't think i ever mentioned i tried this diet before. about two years ago. and i was literally miserable. like crying myself to sleep more times than i'd like to admit. i was only on the diet for 8 days ... whatever, don't judge me!

this time around, i've learned a few things

• preparation is the key to success: planning meals ahead of time for fruit/veggies days has made them much easier. not to mention, i've started to develop a habit of packing fruits/vegetables for lunch during the work week and on weekends ... a habit i intend on keeping once off the diet 
• feeling satisfied: speaking of fruits/vegetables my body has really adjusted to feeling satisfied with just fruits and vegetables. that being said, i still feel miserable on the second dairy day. it is by far the hardest day. like. i feel like crying (as i mentioned above). 

ANYWAYS. still feeling hungry on dairy days is discouraging. i genuinely believed i would not feel "hungry" after a certain point. not the case. additionally, i wish i could start and stick to a workout regime. unfortunately, i have ZERO energy. i mean, who wants to run a mile or swim laps after ingesting 375calories worth of whole milk? 

also, as i approach my goal weight i'm starting to worry about my ability to keep the weight off long-term. cue Jennifer Hudson's new weight watchers commercial. i know and understand this accu-weightloss diet is based in psychiatrics and is trying to break me of my "food addiction" (... i realize putting food addiction in quotes makes it seem like i'm in denial) but honestly. i want to keep the weight off without being anorexic. i sure hope it's possible. 

ONE MONTH weight: 151 pounds-to-go: 16 (11 for original goal of 140)


ps: food i can't wait to eat / recipes i want to try
loaded baked potato soup
avocado pesto pasta from a cozy kitchen
steak and beans taco cups from for the love of cooking
oh. AND sandwiches, pizza and tacos!

weigh in

as i mentioned, i missed last week's weigh in. and despite binging over the weekend (it could have been worse), i weighed in today and lost 4pounds!

current weight: 153 pounds-to-go: 13

i've also come to the realization that i probably should lose more than the original 35pounds. i just don't see myself being happy when i reach 140. i think my new goal will be 135. thoughts?

i'm full ... ?

i have to admit that the first few days have been a challenge. i've been faced with a number of cheating opportunities: ACS Gala complete with hors d'oeuvres, drinks and cake pops; invitations to get dinner with friends and my NEW boss offering to take me to lunch AND a Burger King friday at the office ... all of which i resisted.

i'm currently i'm on my third dairy rotation. i've come to find that these dairy days are MUCH easier than i originally thought. mostly because my first time i tried incorporating Walden Farms products. anyone who is unfamiliar with Walden Farms is lucky.

i know what you're thinking. how could anything that is: fat free, sugar free, calorie free, cholesterol free, carbohydrate free + gluten free NOT be delicious* ... shocking, i know. 

so. during my first dairy cycle, i measured out 5ounces of whole milk yogurt with 5ounces of blueberry "fruit spread" in doing so i realized why this diet would work. the combination was so disgusting i would have rather not eaten at all. seriously. the texture. the smell. everything. in an effort to make these products edible, i tried making a smoothie. i didn't think anything could be worse than the yogurt. i was wrong.

in short, i've realized these dairy days will be easy, as i will only be "eating" 20ounces of whole milk. additionally, i had my first weigh in. i'm down 6 pounds! ... great start, i think! 

current weight: 165 pounds-to-go: 25 

*note: anything described as "spread" should probably be avoided. ie: peanut butter spread; blueberry fruit spread

"nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"

... or so i've been told. normally, i'd respond to such an absurd statement with something like, "i can think of a hundred things that taste better," or "skinny doesn't taste like anything ... which is why i eat" or some other snide comment. and by saying that,  i'm not alluding  to an "addiction" or even an “unhealthy” relationship with food – i’m just saying i’ve finally reached a point where i can admit i’ve made excuses which has resulted in me being overall unhappy with my weight.

so, in an effort to become more happy and healthy, i started a completely ridiculous over-the-top diet – obviously. this diet consists of a strict regimen alternating between veggies/fruits and dairy. and by “dairy” i mean 20ounces of whole milk and/or whole milk yogurt: no cheese. no cottage cheese. no sour cream. no fruit-on-the-bottom delicious (packed with sugar) yogurty-goodness. i know what you’re thinking – i must be hungry. and, yes, in fact i am. i dreamt about a bowl of pasta last night. a steaming bowl of pasta tossed with butter, garlic and parmesan.

i digress. i’ve decided now – more than ever – to make my health and weight a priority for a number of reasons. most notably:

• i’m sick of making excuses and putting off losing weight. therefore, in addition to my recent career change, i’ve decided to make an overall lifestyle change … all have been affirmed by the universe via daily oms (http://dailyom.com/).

• because i literally waste hundreds – if not thousands – of dollars a year on going out to eat and that needs to stop.

• my sister’s wedding is rapidly approaching and even if the marriage doesn’t last – the pictures will.

anyways. the point of all this is because i will have to become more conscientious about what i am eating, i am going to be more conscientious about my food-blogging. i will use this as a platform to discuss new  healthy vegetarian recipes, track my progress and to complain about how hungry i am – but only sometimes.

current weight: 175 goal weight: 140 pounds-to-go: 35